If I Could Interview Twenty One Pilots . . .

27 December, 2016

It's a common fact that I love Twenty One Pilots and they are becoming increasingly popular. After watching many music videos and interviews, I have created a few questions that I would ask the band if I ever got the chance. πŸ’”

Image result for twenty one pilots live
[I do not own this image.]
    • What did you do with your grammy after you got it?
    • How do you feel about fans that worship your old music? Lots of people love your old albums (such as the self-titled album or even before), and are very dedicated to your early music. Do you wish they would move on from that and leave it behind, or are you okay with people being into music from all different stages from your career? Do you still revisit some of your first songs and how do you feel you have grown since then?
    • Who are some musicians you admire but have yet to meet?
    • What was your dream job as a child?
    • There are really talented fans who make Twenty One Pilots the subject of some really amazing art pieces, how often do you see fan art and how do you feel about it? What do you do with it when fans give it to you? Do you ever feel unworthy of your fans?
    • (For Josh:) Are drums the best instrument and if so why?
    • How has fame changed you as people?
    • You two are pictured as perfect best friends and as practically brothers, but do you ever get sick of each other and need time away? How often do you learn something new about each other that you've never noticed before?
    • Will you be making music for the rest of your life?

These are just a few questions that I would LOVE to ask if I could interview them or even meet them in the future. I really want to know how they feel about people obsessed with their old music, and if you are a fan what would you want to ask them given the chance??


Creativity & Strangers In A Crowd: A Collection of Thoughts

22 December, 2016

I once read that to foster creative thoughts, you must put yourself into a creative environment that will inspire you.

You need to put yourself into a place where you can be alone with your thoughts and let your mind wander. Walking through a neighborhood is a good example of a place like this.

 :    :    :

When the world is reflected back upon a window . . . Do you like it better when 
cloudy, disorientated, unclear?

It's weird to think that trees have seen so much more than we have. We built our lives around them and here they are still standing tall, invincible.

. . . all I ever see are the backs of heads. Maybe one day they will turn around and I'll see them for who they really are, but today I get to make up what their minds hold. 
Will you keep turning your head?

What do you see when you look back into my judgmental eyes?

If you want to change you have to get up and change something.

The days leading up to an event fly by so quickly,
 that I have to force myself to slow down the event itself so I don't miss it entirely.


Advice For Students

11 December, 2016

I have been working and improving these tips for as long as I can remember and guarantee these will be useful! Throughout my years of schooling I've definitely made mistakes and I wish someone had told me to do most of these things from the very first day. This advice can be applied to life in general but in my experience they will make school especially, a million times better. Keep this in the back of your mind throughout the day, but don't forget to have fun and make up your own rules as you go!

How do I save the world?

21 November, 2016

Watch a few spoken poetry videos on youtube and you will feel exactly the way that I do. We know that there is so much wrong with the world and a distracted night leading to an eye opening documentary can prove this. Sometimes I watch a video about the food industry and devote myself to veganism but it never lasts. Do other people feel this way? I want desperately to save the world but I feel so helpless.

"With enough people we can make a difference." Are we ever going to gather enough people? I want to win scholarships and contests to change the world and make a difference but it feels incredibly selfish that this is not always my #1 priority. Before I devote my life to feeding the hungry and saving the trees, I want to fall in love and make art. It seems like my goals are always too big or too small to achieve, so where do I find the happy medium? How do I clean my room and save the world at the same time?

I can't help but ask why my feelings matter when people are dying of preventable causes. How can I feel so inspired and do nothing about it? What can I do about the guilt I feel for not changing the world before I graduate high school? Who can I talk to about ending world hunger and creating a cleaner energy system? I'm going to save everyone but I need some questions answered first. How can there be billions of people on this planet yet so many people feel alone?

My psychology teacher tells me that the part of our brain that determines reasoning is not finished developing. Health teachers tell me that teenagers have mood swings and everything we feel is just hormones, but how can that be? How can it be that everything I've learned in my life up to this point is the result of my under-developed brain?

I want to change the world so badly and make it a better place. I want to be better, and I want to be heard, and I want to use less commas in my writing, but I don't know where to start.


⚞My Week in Pieces⚟

18 November, 2016

the community
in my spare time so I can
be apart of the bigger

                                                                                     R E V I E W E D
                                                                            after flash card,
                                                                            after flash card.

like a third wheel when
around one of my best friends
and her boyfriend.

my opinion in
front of others
and now they look 
at me like I am a ticking time

             down thought, 
                     after thought, 
                             after thought.

back deadline on art project #2,
art project #3, and art project #6.

S M I L E D 
as my best friend described her 
first dates because she deserves
to be happy.

                                      D R E A M E D
   of Paris and Rome and New York and Spain and Alaska 
and California and Washington and Fortune and Fame.

about war and
peace and what it means to believe
in the past.
How can we
prove our thoughts
are real? How do we know any thing
has ever
really happened?

G U E S S E D                                           
    what other people were thinking           
at this very moment in time. Do they        
like my dress? I wonder if he finished     
his homework . . .      

I guess parallel structure isn't my thing?


5 Books About Aliens

10 November, 2016

We all know they're out there, and we all know they make excellent YA characters. πŸ‘½

1. We Are The Ants
       by Shaun David Hutchinson

    Image result for we are the ants
    • This book asks important questions about humans and our role in the universe. How important are we and do our daily actions make a difference in the grand scheme of things? This book centers around a boy named Henry who keeps getting abducted by aliens. One day after being abducted, the aliens give him the option to save the world from certain destruction, or do nothing and let the world fall apart in a matter of months. Most people would immediately save the world, but after confiding in other people and constantly being bullied, Henry can't decide if the world is worth saving. 

2. Icons
       by Margaret Stohl

    • The ability to control electricity is an underrated one, so when aliens descend from the sky and wreck havoc on the Earth, not only do they cut the electricity in every wire and piece of technology on earth, but also snuff out the electrical pulses that keep our heart beating. The minuscule population that survives the invasion is left to hide in fear, until a girl named Dol takes a chance and finds out there might be a path to a new life and a way to take out the alien Icons once and for all.

3. Alienated
       by Melissa Landers

    • The alien love story we have all been waiting for!!!! Aliens have finally made contact with the earth and we choose to interact with them by . . . creating a foreign exchange program? Your school's newest student isn't from the other side of the world, but the other side of the universe. Cara Sweeney is chosen to host a student in her home and she learns to accept him but others in her community are not so welcoming.

4. The Rules
       by Stacey Kade

      Image result for alive scott sigler
    • Ariane's life depends on her ability to blend in amongst the humans. Created in a lab and an experiment of both human and alien DNA, her job now is to stay hidden from the people who created her and work towards an ordinary life. Everyday is devoted to being painstakingly average until she's thrown into the center of attention and this disrupts the routine shes been following for so long. 

5. Alive
       by Scott Sigler

    • I am a huge fan of this book and it's full of action starting from page one. The book starts off with a girl who wakes up in a coffin with no memory of who she is or where she is. I love this story because you are figuring out the story along with the characters! I don't want to spoil too much of the book but I'll tell you they are not vampires, not zombies, but something else entirely.

Dare I say these books are out of this world? (Please hold your tomatoes, my jokes are not always this bad.) I love fantasy and science-fiction books, so if you are interested in stories about more than just Earth, these are for you! Float away from our familiar planet for a little while and explore other parts of the universe through these pages!! 


I want to be successful, but I don't know what that means.

03 November, 2016

I honestly don't know what I want out of life and it feels like there is a ticking time bomb on my ability to decide. Online I get to see other people that are living their day to day lives, working to achieve a goal. It gives me hope that maybe I'll find my place in the world and it gives insight to other possibilities. I'm just not sure how to get there.

I know that I can't wake up one day and get ready for a job that I don't want. My greatest fear is hating my life and I am so incredibly scared. I don't know what I want out of life and I feel lost. There is a supposed step between your current life and your ideal one. Like a minimum wage job that is going to set you up for your dream job and pay the college that will get you there. My greatest fear is getting caught in that middle step and I am so incredibly scared.

There is no way to tell the future and I fear the unknown. I had a brief moment a minute ago where I completely forgot who I was and what I am. It's so hard to summarize myself and clearly state what I want. While working on a school project I theorized a situation in which I would be asked why I didn't take other classes in school such as those in engineering or medical things. My response would have been (hypothetically) that I love art and it is the only thing I want to be involved in. In a crazy moment I realized that I take art not because I'm exceptionally good at it or because I love it. I take it because it's all I've really known and that scares me too. I don't even know if I love it because I haven't had any experience in anything else and I don't have time in my life to try anything else because I'm expected to have my life mapped out.

One of my teachers asked us what we wanted to with our lives, and rather that write out something about pursuing a career in art, I wrote a long heartfelt page about what I really wanted. I wrote about wanting love and coming home everyday to someone that thinks I'm beautiful. I wrote about being accepted for my flaws and having grades that accurately represent how much effort I've put into an assignment. I wrote about not wanting to feel ashamed when I cry about a minor detail and about wanting stability yet adventure at the same time. I want to be confident and love my clothes and eat healthy meals and find a way to love exercise. I want to live in a house that I know is prepared for a natural disaster and I want to never be afraid of the dark. When I'm 30, I want to wake up everyday loving life and I know it's unrealistic to want to be happy all the time but I want to be almost never sad. I wrote all of this down instead of writing a lie and doubt it was ever read.

I want someone to show me where the path begins to the life I want. I don't want my happiness to depend on how many likes I get on a photo or how my outfit compares to anothers. I want a life full of real things that matter and I want to change lives other than my own. I want to know where to start.


Horoscope Moody

29 October, 2016

Yesterday I had some free time which I chose to spend being moody, thinking about everything at one. I hastily wrote down my thoughts in the middle of a crowd, and these are a few excerpts.


Should I apologize for being moody? I could say I'm sorry for the confusion I caused, but to me it makes perfect sense. Some days are better than others, surely you know how this feels.

It's a combination of applications and deadlines that knock me over every single time. You can't blame me for the storm I caused and I can't blame you for getting caught in the middle.

I have a lot going on, I know I've mentioned this before. Everyday is an event and I'm an endless party planner. My horoscope tells me I'm controlling. My horoscope tells me things have to be my way or no way at all. I tell myself I want to be the one to blame when things go wrong. Every problem is my problem and no one else will know the right solution.

I say I don't want you in the way. You say you don't want me in my own way.

I pretend you are a better person than you actually are. You don't understand my moods and you don't laugh at my jokes. Sometimes all the planets align and I see the world in a colorful, beautiful way. Other times all the angles are wrong and every task is a burden. I don't want you in the way. Believe me, I see the irony in asking for help yet refusing once it's offered. I tell everyone to let me sort things out on my own. Believe me when I say I don't want to be alone.

Holding your hand is too complicated and eye contact can only be worse. I can talk and talk and talk but none of it is worth listening to. My words are not worth your time. Vague comments are my way of testing the water to see if you are ready for what I really have to say.

Everyone has so many views and opinions and I desperately want to share mine. My body disagrees with me and tells me I can't scream that loud, I need to stop and breathe. My mind always disagrees. Debate with me and I might pause long enough to hear your response.

 If I tell you how I really feel, will you listen? Will you understand? Will you tell me the universe will begin to bend in my favor? I want to pour my heart out to you, but I fear after I will have nothing left. I do not want to be an empty shell only your words can fill. I want to hold your hand but every fiber of my being tells me you will never calm my nerves.

My horoscope tells me I'm controlling. Nothing will ever be right unless I do it myself, I don't want you to get in the way. When I brush off your attempts to help me, it will never be perceived right. When I want your attention I will always run away and never admit how lonely I feel.

My horoscope tells me I am the hardest zodiac sign to love.


Plant Poetry

07 October, 2016

. . . is exactly what you think it is. A burst of inspiration I felt one day and wrote down in my notes.

How dare you wilt
Right in front of me,
When my petals have already gone.

How dare you crumble
At my feet,
When I'm already dust.

Your cloud of insecurity
Is not match for the storm
Beneath my doorstep.


You grow where I wilt,
You bloom where I fall,
I thought you were merely a seed.

I can't help but wonder,
If you were always a garden,
But I'm planted as merely a weed.


6 Books About Girls With Superpowers

26 September, 2016

I want superpowers so badly, and everyday I dream about being able to fly away from my problems and save the day from evil. Unfortunately my parents are both muggles and I live a mundane life, BUT I've gathered a few of my favorite books that allow you to slip into someone else's life and experience, for a moment, abilities that are truly amazing.

P I V O T  P O I N T
   by Kasie West
Image result for pivot point by kasie west
    • Similar to the Disney movie: Sky High, super heroes actually live above us and have a separate, more complex world than our own. Any time Addison Coleman has to make a choice, she can look into the future and see the outcome of each choice so she can properly choose. I would LOVE to have this power and the book is two sides of a choice she has to make in which she discovers, two boyfriends, two best friends, two schools, two entirely different lives, and two unknown dangers that haven't happened yet. Which one will she choose and which will get left behind?

M I N D  G A M E S
   by Kiersten White
    • Some of us are special, and have powers that need to be protected. The story follows two sisters: one with perfect intuition, the other a blind psychic. They are selected to go to a certain school where they learn about their powers but the first sister is manipulated into taking lives and soon searches for an escape, for both of them. Mind games is not a long book and an amazing thriller that I finished in a day. 

Image result for don't even think about it sarah mlynowski
D O N 'T  E V E N  T H I N K  A B O U T  I T
  by Sara Mylowki
    • THIS CONCEPT IS SO ORIGINAL AND REALLY NEEDS A MOVIE! An entire class gets the wrong flu shot and it accidentally gives them the ability to read minds?? This book jumps from many different points of view and describes teenagers that are learning to cope with too much information while the government tries to cover up their mistakes. It's a contemporary, fun book that reveals the characters thoughts, even if you weren't fortunate enough to be born a mind reader.

   by Rachael Ward
    • She has to live with a terrifying secret that ruins every relationship she can ever have. Every time she makes eye contact, she's reminded of the day that person will die. Some people have more time than others and she's constantly reminded that her days with people she loves are numbered. Because of this, she pushes everyone away and refuses to like anyone. Until she forms a relationship she can't break away from and has no choice but to count down until the day of his death, one that is approaching very soon.

G L O R Y  O' B R I E N 'S  H I S T O R Y  O F  T H E  F U T U R E
Image result for glory o'brien's history of the future  by A.S. King
    • I know I say this often, but THIS is one of my all time favorites and I recommend it to everyone I know! Glory is graduating high school with no plans for the future, a single friend, and her mother's haunting past. Right before graduation, Glory and her "best" friend some how end up drinking a petrified bat? This gives them the ability to see everyone's family history, and future. It's insane and poetic and touches on feminism, and over all a masterpiece!!!

C H A S I N G  P O W E R
   by Sarah Beth Durst
    • At first I was uncertain about how to approach this book but ultimately decided I liked it and it's worth talking about. The book begins by describing a girl named Kayla with the ability to move things with her mind and she uses her powers to mostly shoplift. It's a nice read and calming to think about sunny California and this girls unusual. It quickly turns to romance though when a boy who can teleport blackmails her into helping him find his mother and leads to other trouble but it's not too intense and talks about different scenes from all over the world on their adventure. A supportive best friend who is rich with little real problems of her own is also involved, and some expected family issues, but just thinking about walking along little beach shops and using your mind to move things around is in my opinion, a good enough reason to keep reading. 

My powers of choice would definitely be telekinesis and hands down: the ability to read minds. After reading Don't Even Think About It and Mind Games, in particular, I just think that life would be so much easier if I knew what everyone was thinking. I would be less insecure and have the advantage in every situation. Let me know what your magic abilities would be and how you would use them (for good of course)!


Rockin' September Playlist

18 September, 2016

[I do not own this image.]

1. Mix Tape by Brand New // This song should be at the beginning of every playlist, mix tape, and story.

"And I know that you're a sucker for anything acoustic,
But when I say let's keep in touch,
I hope you know I mean I wish that you'd grow up."

2. Hometown by Twenty One Pilots // It's practically impossible to make a playlist without mentioning Twenty One Pilots. This is my current favorite.

"We don't know, we don't know, 
How to put the power back in our soul, 
We don't know, we don't know, 
Where to find what was once in our bones."

3. Critical Mistakes by 888 // I know very little about this band but the music video says a lot about forgiveness and I strongly advise you to listen to this gem.

"I want a house on a hill by the ocean,
And let the tide wash away all my critical mistakes."

4. Anywhere With You by Saves The Day // For when you rid a negative person from your life,and are just looking for adventure and people to share it with.

"Here's to the passing
of all that could be
between you and me."

5. Sometimes You're The Hammer, Sometimes You're The Nail by A Day To Remember // This song is a little aggressive but there are no swear words and these lyrics are always running through my mind:

"I reserve my right to feel uncomfortable, I reserve my right to be afraid.
I make mistakes and I am humbled every step of the way. 
I want to be a better person, I want to know the master plan,
Cast your stones, cast your judgement, you don't make me who I am."

6. The (Shipped) Gold Standard by Fall Out Boy // All over the place, practically poetry, underlying theme about complicated love.

"I wanna scream 'I love you' from the top of my lungs,
but I'm afraid that someone else will hear me."

7. Goodnight Moon by Go Radio // This is a slower song, something that I don't usually post about, but it's incredibly sweet and very dramatic.

"Cause I've been trying way too long,
To try and be the perfect song,
When our hearts are heavy burdens,
We shouldn't have to bear alone."

8. Young Stars by The Struts // Dreams can be real and you will be amongst your own one day.

"You've got nothing to lose, all to gain,
And nothing is worth doing if it don't cause pain,
Because I was born for it, I just want you to know."



06 September, 2016

a feeling of intense longing for something.

I've watched so many concert live streams on youtube that I now have this burning need to be at one. I have to scream lyrics alongside hundreds of fellow fans. I need confetti in my hair. There's no place I would rather be and it would mean so much to me to just be there.

My mom mentions all the time how she went to concerts with her friends as a teenager and I would give so much to do the same. I yearn and it hurts. Specifically I've watched a million Twenty One Pilot concerts online and the thing separating me from the hysterical, sobbing fans in the video, is they are a million miles closer to the artists than I will ever be. Those videos just remind me of when I was so lonely, watching old live streams on youtube and pretending that I was there, pumping my fist along with the crowd. I'm referring to a few artists where I know every single word, the band members middle names, every interview they have possibly done, and again: every. single. word.

[I do not own this image.]

I want so desperately to feel sweat on my back and my hair as I dance and jump for what will feel like forever. I know the words. I know them so well I could write a million lyric websites alone and tell you for hours my interpretation of the songs. The words mean so much to me and I know what it feels like to be alone. I want to scream in an arena the same words I cried to in the middle of the night. I want to feel the drums vibrate in my ears and pulse at the same time as my heart. Feel my best friends fall into me and smile at knowing I couldn't be happier. My cheeks will hurt from smiling and my throat will burn from screaming but I'll do it until the lights turn off and security escorts me out. I want to pump my fist in the air and feel confetti rain down from the sky. I so DESPERATELY want confetti in my hair. I'll cry when they first come on stage, and again during the final number. I'll dance until I fall, and scream at the top of my lungs, knowing that everyone around me feels the same way. Finally I'll see in person, even if from a distance, the people with the voices I've heard over and over again in my headphones.

Image result for my chemical romance live crowd


Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseini

01 September, 2016

I may be cheating because I was assigned this book in class, but I did not expect to love it this much. I'm sure lots of people are going to have to read this book for class or other reasons, so I'm not going to spoil it but I will give a quick summary and let you know that's it's not boring (surprise!) and it's not your average YA novel/ coming of age story.

Image result for kite tumblr
"For you, a thousand times over."
The Kite Runner is actually centered around a boy from Afghanistan, and other school-required books had pretty much ruined my opinion about books that take place in other countries. I thought I wouldn't understand them or relate to them. BUT, Kite Runner starts out with such a cute story about these two little boys who are best friends but one boy is practically the others servant and the story follows their friendship.

I really don't want to spoil it but consider it okay? We don't know a lot about what happens in the middle east, or other parts of the world for that matter. We can't even begin to imagine what others go through, and if so then we just ignore it.

The entire book is not about suffering (mostly) but really about how the main character grows up and reflects on his relationship with his childhood best friend. There's a ton of plot twists, and I never would have picked up this book had I not been assigned it but couldn't stop reading. It's really good, trust me!


7 Rad Music Makers

20 August, 2016

(In no particular order) I love everyone on this list and I'm breaking open my heart to let them free and find others. [I also don't own any of these images.]

πŸ’— πŸ’— πŸ’— πŸ’— πŸ’— πŸ’— πŸ’—

1. Twenty Γ˜ne PilΓΈts #clique
  • Genre: AbsΓΈlutely everything
  • How I found out about them: I've been hooked since hearing "Tear In My Heart" on the radio. I also heard "Migraine" in a youtube video and fell in love. LISTEN, everybody and their brother is a TØP fan, and that's great because they deserve the recognition, but their songs have insanely deep meanings that often go unnoticed. The band consists of Josh Dun and Tyler Joseph, they touch on mental illness and some dark thoughts that lot's of people ignore. But, I'm just a teenager who thinks they can relate to this band so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
  • My Favorite songs:
    • Migraine ➡️ Album: Vessel. // If you only listen to a single Twenty One Pilots song, this should be it.
    • Message Man ➡️ Album: Blurryface. // Sounds like there's an organ playing.
    • Glowing Eyes ➡️ Album: Regional At Best. //  "This room is far too dark for us to stay around, Redemption's not that far and darkness is going down".
    • Ode to Sleep  ➡️ Album: Regional At Best. //  All I can tell you to do is listen to this song. 

Related image

2.  My Chemical Romance
    • Genre: Alternative, Rock, Punk (in their earlier days)
    • How I found out about them: Hear me out, because I know you might be hesitant to go into this but I've really learned a lot. MCR was ( ☹ ) a really fantastic rock band and their fans are really confused kids that are just looking for a way to escape. I heard JUST A CLIP, of their song "teenagers" in a youtube video, and fell in love. I'm a bit over the angrier songs and in a better place now, but still a fan all the same. The band was formed when four guys (Gerard Way, Ray Toro, Frank Iero, and Mikey Way) felt like they weren't going anywhere in life and wanted to make music that they could put all of their pent up feelings into. They put so much work into their music, I love them with all of my heart, and the band has been broke up for few years now, but definitely listen to them sometime.
    • My Favorite songs: 
      • Bulletproof Heart ➡️ Album: Danger Days. // This song is one of my all time favorites and has a nice tune to it and something to listen to on any occasion, not too loud and no swear words. 
      • Famous Last Words ➡️ Album: The Black Parade. // This was my introduction to rock.
      • Headfirst For Halos ➡️ Album: I Brought You My Bullets, You Brought Me Your Love. // This song is a little old, and a little underappreciated. 
      • Ambulance➡️ Album: Conventional Weapons. // 80's vibes. "Cause we are not afraid, and we are not the same."

forgive me

3. Taylor Swift πŸ
    • Genre: Country, Pop
    • How I found out about her: My dad downloaded all of her songs on my ancient phone in the third grade and the rest is history. I know every single word to her songs and I've seen her once live. Taylor (obviously) isn't like other artists on this list and lots of people dislike her (suddenly) but she's one of my all time favorites and I recommend some of her songs from Red or Speak Now if you're interested. 
    • My Favorite songs:  
      • Haunted➡️ Album: Speak Now //  The acoustic version of this song gives me CHILLS. Haunted is such a desperate song about loving somebody and it's amazing.
      • How You Get The Girl➡️ Album: 1989 //  And that's how it works! That's how you get the girl! This is a another midnight slumber party song that you dance to with your friends. Very cute, 10/10 would recommend.
      • All Too Well➡️ Album: Red //  This song is know for the infamous line: "and you called me up again just to break me like a promise". Listen to if you want to reminisce (and cry) about a love that is no more.
      • Fearless➡️ Album: Fearless //  One of Taylor Swift's early songs, Fearless is about finding your place in this big big world and not being afraid to dive into life head first, fearless.

4. Weezer 
    • Genre: Alternative rock, Rock, Indie rock, Punk rock, Nerd music
    • How I found out about them: Everyone knows their song Beverly Hills and Say It Ain't So, but I started liking Weezer when I started to hear their white album on the radio. Some of their songs are more punk rock, others slower and fun to listen to with friends or alone. I'm not as passionate about Weezer as I am some other bands, but their music always seems to bring me up. 
    • My Favorite songs:
      •  California Kids➡️ Album: The White Album. //  Beach vibes. "If you're on a sinking ship, the California kids will throw you a life line. 
      •  We Are All on Drugs➡️ Album: Make Believe. //  Listen to this song if not for any reason other than to watch the music video and see kids mouth "drugs" over and over again. 
      •  Troublemaker➡️ Album: The (self-titled) Red Album. //  Rock out. 

makes sense

5. Sum 41
    • Genre: Punk, Pop Punk, Punk Rock, Alternative
    • How I found out about them: I was watching MCR covers on youtube, when I came across a cover of their song Fatlip, and me and my teenage angst immediately related to every song. This band has been around for a little while now and they've started to release new music which I'm very excited for. 
    • My Favorite songs:
      • Fatlip ➡️ Album: All Killer, No Filler. // The song that started it all. 
      • Heart Attack➡️ Album: All Killer, No Filler. // Song is not actually about a heart attack, nor does it mention heart attacks. Most common line is "waking up in hard to do," something I think we can all relate to.
      • Underclass Hero➡️ Album: Underclass Hero. //  This song is about high school and misguided boys, and growing up and not fitting into the world. (Also gives off 10 Things I Hate About You vibes.)

6. Marina and the Diamonds πŸ’ŽπŸ’ŽπŸ’Ž
  • Genre: Bubblegum Pop, Indie pop, Alternative, New wave
  • How I found out about her: (!!!!!)  My goood friend introduced me to Marina and she is a band all her own and makes pop music about love, pain, and the world. She's originally welsh, and you've probably her song: How To Be A Heart Breaker or The Lonely Hearts Club. She's a celestial being from another planet, her songs are sometimes sad, absolutely tumblr worthy, and will make you feel like you are floating. If you've heard about her and wanted to look more into her music I recommend a few songs . . .
  • My Favorite songs:
    • Radioactive ➡️ Album: Electra Heart // A love that is explosive, electric, and otherwise radioactive. In this song Marina describes what it feels like to not be yourself once you're around a toxic person (and I used to jam to this song at the beach). 
    • Savages➡️ Album: Froot //  How can humans both destroy the world and save it? We're so complicated and everyday we murder and everyday we save. Part of this song references the Boston marathon bombing, and I love this song because it reminds me to second guess our true purpose. 
    • Hollywood ➡️ Album: The Family Jewels // This song is about being star strucked by coming to America and focusing on red, white, and blue on the fourth of July. 
    • Blue➡️ Album: Froot //  "Give me love, give me dreams, give me a good self esteem."
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7. Fall Out Boy
    • Genre: Pop punk
    • How I found out about them: I heard "Our Lawyer Made Us Change The Name Of This Song So We Wouldn't Get Sued." Not going to lie, I'm going through a bit of a Fall Out Boy phase right now. Pete Wentz, Andy Hurley, Patrick Stump, and Joe Trohman surprise me everyday. You don't expect them to, well be the way that they are, and their lyrics mean something to me so I've invested into this band. They have a ton of music and I'm spending every trying to catch up. No doubt you've heard one of their songs on the radio and probably didn't dive much deeper, so this is me pushing you into the deep end.
    • My Favorite songs:
      • Sugar We're Going Down ➡️ Album: From Under The Cork Tree //  "Isn't it messed up, how I'm just dying to be him?"
      • Nobody Puts Baby In The Corner ➡️ Album: // You look so good in blue, you look so good in blue. 
      • 7 Minutes In Heaven ➡️ Album: From Under The Cork Tree //  !! Something about this song resonates with me. "I keep telling myself I'm not the desperate type."
      • The (Shipped) Gold Standard ➡️ Album: Folie Γ  Deux // Anyone who says Folie Γ  Deux was a mistake, needs to get their hearing checked. 
      • Jet Pack Blues ➡️ Album: American Beauty/ American Psycho //  Did you ever love her, do you know? Or did you never want to be alone?



Every Exquisite Thing by Matthew Quick 🐒

01 August, 2016


Synopsis: Nanette is given a book (The Bubblegum Reaper by Nigel Booker) that is no longer in print, but still circulates her mind and changes her life. She meets the author and new friends, and essentially learns to let go of what other people think of her and what she's supposed to do. It's a rebellious story of being different in every possible way and a story and I didn't know I needed.

With a million things coming down upon me this upcoming year, I can strongly say I feel the urge to quit. (But what does quitting really mean?)


Every Exquisite Thing is one of those weird books (like Placebo Junkies by J.C. Carleson or anything by A.S. King) where you're not entirely sure of the plot or where these characters are going, but you keep turning the pages and nothing has ever made more sense. It's a story about life and a girl going through her routine but everything feel off all of the sudden and she has to change it or she'll go mad. I want to say I identify with Nanette but it might be Unproductive Ted really inside me.

Matthew Quick just released this book and I'm always skeptical about books written by men that are about teenage girls, but this one made a lot of sense and I really enjoyed it. I needed this book and since reading it I feel like everything is off. It's hard to explain but if you feel different, lost, lonely, or stuck, I recommend Every Exquisite Thing.


Weakness Is A Part Of Who We Are

21 July, 2016

There's this incredibly small mold to fit into and if for some reason you do not fit, your entire life is ruined.

You need to get into college, and be responsible, and be good at keeping papers nice and neat, and be good at taking tests, and have exceptional organization skills, and make lots of friends, and have extracurricular activities, and volunteer in your spare time, and you also need to be an athlete and do sports, not to mention be great in arguments, and of course you have to read quickly and comprehend every word with ease and you have to do every single one of these things and more, or none of them at all.

I can't do all of those things. They seem like small tasks, things that everyone is expected to do, but when you lay everything out, end to end, it's an incredibly long list of things to know. My point is that everyone tells  you to "be different" or "follow your own path" or "be yourself," and it's all lies. When they tell you these things they mean that you need to be great at everything, but be exceptional in one particular area.

The thing I've painfully noticed however, is that being awful at things also sets you apart.

image of a picture book because studying is hard
Not being able to speak publicly, or being horrible at sports MAKES you different and it's okay if something "negative" is what makes you special. For most people, or maybe just me, you're incompetent in a wide variety of areas and just "good" in one particular area. Not exceptional, but just barely managing.

For example, for the life of me I CANNOT control paper. Once you give me a sheet of paper it will automatically have three tears and it's missing a corner. I will wrinkle it and most certainly lose it. This applies to everything because my of life seems to revolve around paper (i.e. applications, checks, resumes, flyers, etc). Need a parent signature on that form? Sorry, I've already lost it.

On the other hand sometimes I draw things, and I enjoy reading and seem to comprehend words moderately well. It is a combination of being awful and having skills that can make you unique, as opposed to specializing in a certain thing and it being your definitive feature. Humans make mistakes and it's a combination of your flaws and accomplishments that make you special, not just the latter.

I'm not sure what I'm trying to say here, but I've just recently grasped the concept of fitting into a mold, and recently felt the pressure of needing to be great in every single category to be a decent person. I hate school and college for making me feel like when I am not doing absolutely everything then I am doing nothing. You don't have to be perfect nor do you have to wear yourself out trying to do everything. Being weak, slow, or having any other "undesired" trait is just as much you, and important, as your strengths.

Every part of you is important and "being different" is a waste of your time.


10 Future Worlds To Escape To πŸš€

17 July, 2016

Good morning! Summer (or life in general) can sometimes be dull and books are always the best way escape. I know that there are many people who don't love books as much as me, but I'm confident that reading is the cure to everything. (Included will be links to the Good Reads page and official summary of each book.) From dystopias to the apocalypse, contrast to Earth, here are a few of my favorite books with universes or worlds that have all the adventure your world may not.

1. Partials by Dan Wells
  • Military robots created by humans have rebelled and taken over the Earth. The last (known) colony of humans are struggling to reproduce due to a virus that kill every human infant within a week. Desperate for a cure, humans might have to do the unthinkable, seek help from the monsters who destroyed the world, because they might be the only hope for a cure.
2. The Hunt by Andrew Fukuda
  • Vampires are not for everyone but this book honestly had me on the edge of my seat. The main character (Gene) is a human trapped in a world of vampires where he spends everyday hiding from the monsters that could eat him at any second. His normal routine of disguising himself is disrupted when he's chosen to be apart of a once in a lifetime contest where chosen vampires are given the opportunity to hunt down humans (and Gene thought he was the only one left alive).
3. Stung by Bethany Wiggins
  • Words cannot describe my love for this story! Fiona wakes up in her own abandoned house with a mark on her arm that should turn her into a beast, yet it doesn't. Our world is divided between man and beast and Fiona is stuck in the middle. She wanders around her empty town looking for answers and runs into danger and mysterious friends. 
4. Starters by Lissa Price
  • In a world where everyone between 20 and 60 has died, a new industry has arisen and gives teenage Callie a new chance at life: a company that allows teenagers to rent their bodies. The only problem is that when Callie volunteers for the program the technology malfunctions and she's still inside her body. This book shows a lot about people who live lavishly and what happens when someone from the lower class is able to step in their shoes. (Not entirely unlike Annie but very much in the future.)
5. The Ward by Jordana Frankel
  • As someone who refuses to choose a favorite book, this is one of my favorites. The beginning is a bit confusing but I'll sum it up for you: In a future world where the ocean has risen to life-changing levels, Ren takes on a secret mission to find fresh water. At the same time, an secret disease is killing people and freshwater without pollution might hold the answer. (While you're done reading we can wait patiently together for the sequel.)
6. Hungry by H.A. Swain
  • A world where food doesn't exists (I think that says enough). To sum up this book, everyone takes vitamin supplements but Thalia has an inexplicable desire to eat food and discovers a mysterious boy who might be apart of an organization to bring it back.
7. A Thousand Pieces of You by Claudia Gray
  • Parallel universes are personally my favorite to read about, as the possibilities are endless. In this book, Marguerite's parents have created a device that lets people travel to other dimensions. After her father is killed by a close family friend, her grief drives her to steal the device on a quest to find her dad's murderer, who also stole a device. 
8. Beta by Rachel Cohn
  • On a manufactured island created for the world's elite, this book is focused around Elysia, an artificial intelligence in the body of a 16 year old girl, whose should purpose is to serve the rich who live on the island. She is contempt with her life, as every clone is, until she begins to experience emotions that someone who was created without a soul should not. Elysia starts to see beneath the perfect world which she was created to exist in and asks questions that puts her in a dangerous position.
9. Reboot by Amy Tintera
  • Not quite a zombie, but still back from the dead and more powerful than ever. Wren died five years ago and was technically dead for 178 minutes, but the longer you're dead, the more powerful you become when you are revived and then owned by the government. She's fine with her life as a government solider until she has to train a reboot that's practically humans and begins to wonder if there's something the humans have that she's missing. 
  • The ability to control electricity seems to be an overlooked one, because along with wiping out the internet and turning off every light on the planet, beings from another planet were able to stop the electrical pulses in billions of humans hearts. An amazing small sum of humans were spared the day they took over the planet but everyone's lives are still under their control. A few teenagers are brought together under unusual circumstances and share a gift that might change everyone's lives once again. 

These book have always been some of my personal favorites and I only recommend them because I loved them. Enjoy! 


When Your Band is Overrun By Teenage Girls

05 July, 2016

After watching countless interviews of Fall Out Boy and similar bands (My Chemical Romance, Twenty One Pilots, The 1975, etc.) I've noticed how it's always casually mentioned that their audience grows from a group of relatable close friends to hoards of screaming girls. They're embarrassed and it's funny because their audience should be grown men with the same problems and issues that grown men are facing but it never ends up that way. (See MCR's cover of desolation row.) What does it say about the fact that 16 year old girls are identifying with 25-35 year old men who sing about their mental health? I'm not talking specifically about boy bands, mostly I'm referring to the gaping hole of 'alternative' bands that I've fallen into.

[I do not own this image.]
"Hum Hallelujah," was the first Fall Out Boy song I really liked and that sparked my interest in the band. I heard that song and similar songs (i.e. the patron saint of liars and fakes, etc.) and I've been drawn to their inaudible lyrics and fast beats ever since. I can acknowledge this sounds funny coming from a teenage girl, though FOB is a fairly mainstream band. It's cliche, a 16 year old girl obsessing over something out of her reach, but it's fun nevertheless. Even if I don't always relate to the problems being sang about, I love to listen to the angst and emotion and I've come to love and look at music in a different way, even though the audience I'm apart of is never exactly taken seriously.

Teenage girls love harder than anyone else on the planet and fully commit to their current obsessions. My apologies to Fall Out Boy and The 1975 and any other band that consists of grown men making serious music, whose fan base has become a vast vortex of screaming teenage girls with badly dyed hair and wrinkled t-shirts. Those girls will stay up until 3A.M. making posters and bracelets and anything they can to show their dedication. Please don't be upset when this happens to your band, no one understands pain like a teenage girl.

Maybe it's the hormones, but we really love your music.

[I do not own this image.]


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