06 September, 2016

a feeling of intense longing for something.

I've watched so many concert live streams on youtube that I now have this burning need to be at one. I have to scream lyrics alongside hundreds of fellow fans. I need confetti in my hair. There's no place I would rather be and it would mean so much to me to just be there.

My mom mentions all the time how she went to concerts with her friends as a teenager and I would give so much to do the same. I yearn and it hurts. Specifically I've watched a million Twenty One Pilot concerts online and the thing separating me from the hysterical, sobbing fans in the video, is they are a million miles closer to the artists than I will ever be. Those videos just remind me of when I was so lonely, watching old live streams on youtube and pretending that I was there, pumping my fist along with the crowd. I'm referring to a few artists where I know every single word, the band members middle names, every interview they have possibly done, and again: every. single. word.

[I do not own this image.]

I want so desperately to feel sweat on my back and my hair as I dance and jump for what will feel like forever. I know the words. I know them so well I could write a million lyric websites alone and tell you for hours my interpretation of the songs. The words mean so much to me and I know what it feels like to be alone. I want to scream in an arena the same words I cried to in the middle of the night. I want to feel the drums vibrate in my ears and pulse at the same time as my heart. Feel my best friends fall into me and smile at knowing I couldn't be happier. My cheeks will hurt from smiling and my throat will burn from screaming but I'll do it until the lights turn off and security escorts me out. I want to pump my fist in the air and feel confetti rain down from the sky. I so DESPERATELY want confetti in my hair. I'll cry when they first come on stage, and again during the final number. I'll dance until I fall, and scream at the top of my lungs, knowing that everyone around me feels the same way. Finally I'll see in person, even if from a distance, the people with the voices I've heard over and over again in my headphones.

Image result for my chemical romance live crowd


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  1. There are SO Many concerts that I am dying to see!! T.O.P has recently been added to my list. ;) The Killers, and Nate Ruess are pretty high ranked though!!

    1. OMG I love The Killers too and I definitely need to check out more, tysm! Who doesn't want to spend all their money on tickets??


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