How do I save the world?

21 November, 2016

Watch a few spoken poetry videos on youtube and you will feel exactly the way that I do. We know that there is so much wrong with the world and a distracted night leading to an eye opening documentary can prove this. Sometimes I watch a video about the food industry and devote myself to veganism but it never lasts. Do other people feel this way? I want desperately to save the world but I feel so helpless.

"With enough people we can make a difference." Are we ever going to gather enough people? I want to win scholarships and contests to change the world and make a difference but it feels incredibly selfish that this is not always my #1 priority. Before I devote my life to feeding the hungry and saving the trees, I want to fall in love and make art. It seems like my goals are always too big or too small to achieve, so where do I find the happy medium? How do I clean my room and save the world at the same time?

I can't help but ask why my feelings matter when people are dying of preventable causes. How can I feel so inspired and do nothing about it? What can I do about the guilt I feel for not changing the world before I graduate high school? Who can I talk to about ending world hunger and creating a cleaner energy system? I'm going to save everyone but I need some questions answered first. How can there be billions of people on this planet yet so many people feel alone?

My psychology teacher tells me that the part of our brain that determines reasoning is not finished developing. Health teachers tell me that teenagers have mood swings and everything we feel is just hormones, but how can that be? How can it be that everything I've learned in my life up to this point is the result of my under-developed brain?

I want to change the world so badly and make it a better place. I want to be better, and I want to be heard, and I want to use less commas in my writing, but I don't know where to start.


⚞My Week in Pieces⚟

18 November, 2016

the community
in my spare time so I can
be apart of the bigger

                                                                                     R E V I E W E D
                                                                            after flash card,
                                                                            after flash card.

like a third wheel when
around one of my best friends
and her boyfriend.

my opinion in
front of others
and now they look 
at me like I am a ticking time

             down thought, 
                     after thought, 
                             after thought.

back deadline on art project #2,
art project #3, and art project #6.

S M I L E D 
as my best friend described her 
first dates because she deserves
to be happy.

                                      D R E A M E D
   of Paris and Rome and New York and Spain and Alaska 
and California and Washington and Fortune and Fame.

about war and
peace and what it means to believe
in the past.
How can we
prove our thoughts
are real? How do we know any thing
has ever
really happened?

G U E S S E D                                           
    what other people were thinking           
at this very moment in time. Do they        
like my dress? I wonder if he finished     
his homework . . .      

I guess parallel structure isn't my thing?


5 Books About Aliens

10 November, 2016

We all know they're out there, and we all know they make excellent YA characters. 👽

1. We Are The Ants
       by Shaun David Hutchinson

    Image result for we are the ants
    • This book asks important questions about humans and our role in the universe. How important are we and do our daily actions make a difference in the grand scheme of things? This book centers around a boy named Henry who keeps getting abducted by aliens. One day after being abducted, the aliens give him the option to save the world from certain destruction, or do nothing and let the world fall apart in a matter of months. Most people would immediately save the world, but after confiding in other people and constantly being bullied, Henry can't decide if the world is worth saving. 

2. Icons
       by Margaret Stohl

    • The ability to control electricity is an underrated one, so when aliens descend from the sky and wreck havoc on the Earth, not only do they cut the electricity in every wire and piece of technology on earth, but also snuff out the electrical pulses that keep our heart beating. The minuscule population that survives the invasion is left to hide in fear, until a girl named Dol takes a chance and finds out there might be a path to a new life and a way to take out the alien Icons once and for all.

3. Alienated
       by Melissa Landers

    • The alien love story we have all been waiting for!!!! Aliens have finally made contact with the earth and we choose to interact with them by . . . creating a foreign exchange program? Your school's newest student isn't from the other side of the world, but the other side of the universe. Cara Sweeney is chosen to host a student in her home and she learns to accept him but others in her community are not so welcoming.

4. The Rules
       by Stacey Kade

      Image result for alive scott sigler
    • Ariane's life depends on her ability to blend in amongst the humans. Created in a lab and an experiment of both human and alien DNA, her job now is to stay hidden from the people who created her and work towards an ordinary life. Everyday is devoted to being painstakingly average until she's thrown into the center of attention and this disrupts the routine shes been following for so long. 

5. Alive
       by Scott Sigler

    • I am a huge fan of this book and it's full of action starting from page one. The book starts off with a girl who wakes up in a coffin with no memory of who she is or where she is. I love this story because you are figuring out the story along with the characters! I don't want to spoil too much of the book but I'll tell you they are not vampires, not zombies, but something else entirely.

Dare I say these books are out of this world? (Please hold your tomatoes, my jokes are not always this bad.) I love fantasy and science-fiction books, so if you are interested in stories about more than just Earth, these are for you! Float away from our familiar planet for a little while and explore other parts of the universe through these pages!! 


I want to be successful, but I don't know what that means.

03 November, 2016

I honestly don't know what I want out of life and it feels like there is a ticking time bomb on my ability to decide. Online I get to see other people that are living their day to day lives, working to achieve a goal. It gives me hope that maybe I'll find my place in the world and it gives insight to other possibilities. I'm just not sure how to get there.

I know that I can't wake up one day and get ready for a job that I don't want. My greatest fear is hating my life and I am so incredibly scared. I don't know what I want out of life and I feel lost. There is a supposed step between your current life and your ideal one. Like a minimum wage job that is going to set you up for your dream job and pay the college that will get you there. My greatest fear is getting caught in that middle step and I am so incredibly scared.

There is no way to tell the future and I fear the unknown. I had a brief moment a minute ago where I completely forgot who I was and what I am. It's so hard to summarize myself and clearly state what I want. While working on a school project I theorized a situation in which I would be asked why I didn't take other classes in school such as those in engineering or medical things. My response would have been (hypothetically) that I love art and it is the only thing I want to be involved in. In a crazy moment I realized that I take art not because I'm exceptionally good at it or because I love it. I take it because it's all I've really known and that scares me too. I don't even know if I love it because I haven't had any experience in anything else and I don't have time in my life to try anything else because I'm expected to have my life mapped out.

One of my teachers asked us what we wanted to with our lives, and rather that write out something about pursuing a career in art, I wrote a long heartfelt page about what I really wanted. I wrote about wanting love and coming home everyday to someone that thinks I'm beautiful. I wrote about being accepted for my flaws and having grades that accurately represent how much effort I've put into an assignment. I wrote about not wanting to feel ashamed when I cry about a minor detail and about wanting stability yet adventure at the same time. I want to be confident and love my clothes and eat healthy meals and find a way to love exercise. I want to live in a house that I know is prepared for a natural disaster and I want to never be afraid of the dark. When I'm 30, I want to wake up everyday loving life and I know it's unrealistic to want to be happy all the time but I want to be almost never sad. I wrote all of this down instead of writing a lie and doubt it was ever read.

I want someone to show me where the path begins to the life I want. I don't want my happiness to depend on how many likes I get on a photo or how my outfit compares to anothers. I want a life full of real things that matter and I want to change lives other than my own. I want to know where to start.


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