Life Lately 📴

21 January, 2017

ripped stockings
dirty shoe laces
changing the radio station in search of something new?
feeling like I'm on the outside looking in
Drink water Drink water Drink water
listening to the same song for three hours
feeling like all of my art suddenly isn't good enough,
not wanting to show it to teachers
learning about velocity and finding a new meaning in my blog
I wish I had more t-shirts
I feel like everyone is trying too hard to be something
I just feel awkward
Always Awkward
chicken noodle soup

wish I had played volleyball
Never wanting to explain myself ever
putting a lot of effort into avoiding strangers
feeling disconnected from my friends, why don't they invite me out?
Everyday I try to take a step forward but sometimes things happen,
and it feels like four steps backward
Looking for ways to control my hair, my face,
Looking for ways to exercise, eat healthy,
washing my hands X3
I felt so busy yesterday and today I feel so empty
Sometimes I hurt my friends with my words because I don't know how to tell
them I miss them even though I've never even left, and I regret it.


❇️Goals For The New Year❇️

08 January, 2017

So far this year, I've heard a lot of people talk about how they are glad to have 2016 behind them. Personally, this year has not been a bad one for me and I don't think this year will be any better or worse than the last one. I can't say that life is what you make of it and a good attitude will fix everything, because that's not true. Things happen to people that are out of their control, but a year is just a year despite what the internet will tell you.

I've convinced myself that writing down things I want to do, will make them happen. I tell myself that maybe if I read about it enough, write about it enough, and think about it enough, I will motivate myself enough to change my life and be a better person. I think it's important to have goals that are attainable and that's what I've done here so hopefully you feel inspired or are able to do some of the same things I hope to!

    • Talk More/ Talk Less - I hope that next year I can learn to speak up when I need to be heard, and stop talking when my words do more harm than good.

    • Say Thank You to Strangers - To anyone who has ever held a door for me: thank you, and I am sorry I have not said that enough. 

    • Complete Projects on Time - I . .  don't have a solid . . .  plan . . .  for figuring out how to do this . .. . but. . ..  it will come to me.

    • Paint More - I miss painting and will put in more effort to do so this year.

    • Turn in my library books on time - I owe the state so much money.

    • Exercise (or try to)

    • Not eat less carbs, but eat more of things that are not carbs

    • Get more sleep

    • Spend less time on social media - It doesn't mean as much to me as I think it does.

    • Make my own decisions

    • Care less about things that don't matter - Like . . . how people think of me.

    • Walk my dog more often

    • Stare back at strangers who stare at me in public

    • Dye my hair and cut it

    • Eat More Cookies - because I love them yet never indulge. 


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