On Wanting People

17 December 2018

When I look at people I want to know what they're thinking. I want to know who they want to be and where they want to go and how they've changed. Lately I've been trying to put people into boxes. Telling myself that I want to make them want me as much as I want them. Isn't that weird? To want people? You can't want another person because people come and they go and just because they come doesn't mean they belong to you because everyone is always their own, right?


I Am Out With The Night

08 September 2018

For the longest time I thought I was the most creative at night and for the most part that's still true. I came home after a long day and took out my laptop, opened every social media, all my favorite blogs, and I read. I read things that were hard to read and things that were unimportant. I wrote about every single aspect of my life.

What I wrote was just for me and I'm not sure why I did it. I think maybe I wrote to just prove to myself that I can, to vent and let go and relinquish and explain. Because I thought about things over and over and when I know I had written it down I knew I didn't need to hold on so tight anymore.

All Of The People I Could Have Been

16 August 2018

Perhaps this is the most Capricorn thing I've ever written, but I think a lot about having a profession that I can fall in love with. Working somewhere that I have a hard time leaving, and doing meaningful work that takes me everywhere I want to be. I never want to look at a clock and count down the minutes until I can leave; I never want to not want to be somewhere.

This keeps me up at night, the idea that I could have been so many other different people, that maybe I still can. All of us could really just wake up one day and quit our jobs, cut our hair, and be someone else at anytime. I always foresee 50 year old me drinking coffee in my office at home for some reason, with a lot of dogs, and doing what I love.


© the velocity of heart. FCD.