some things I'd really rather you didn't know

11 January, 2018

(( inspired by this post from thought catalog))

I love to sing in my car at the top of my lungs. I roll all the windows down and am that person who shows up to the stop light with music blasting from their car. I don't even care who sees me at this point because I feel like I am so incredibly free when I sing and dance. Music makes me free.

Lately I've been writing poetry and it also makes me feel good. I love watching spoken word poetry on youtube and it makes me so inspired. I've always written down lines that I think of throughout the day in my phone (there's a lot) and one day I just wrote two pages of my thoughts in verse and it felt like I found a piece of myself I didn't know was missing. Sometimes I pretend they are songs and sometimes they are french-coffee-house-on-a-summer-night poetry. I have been putting little lines together ever since and I have enough to publish a book someday, a little cliche I know, but it makes me feel like me.

I live my life in my pajamas 90% of the time. If we're not face to face, I'm wearing pajamas.

I watched all of the Star Wars movies a couple of years ago on new years eve and I've been obsessed ever since. 

This year has been really hard for me because everything I used to know has changed. All of my friends that I used to rely on every single day have disappeared from my life and I'm trying to cope with that.

I used to have a lot of reoccurring dreams as a child. Usually I had dreams about running from some sort of monster or there were people chasing me and I was running.  I get a lot of dreams about running from natural disasters or living in elaborate homes with doors that lead to different worlds. Maybe there's some sort of hidden meaning there.


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