this is a song but without the music

23 June, 2018

What would you do to get the picture right?
Tunnel vision more like
a bridge you keep falling off of,

Get to the other side because I’m
climbing climbing up the side

I can't talk right now, can't get the words out
I wish I could cut the conversation before
it gets too loud,

I've seen you roll your eyes too many times,
come back, come back,
I've watched the sun kiss the mountains goodbye
too many times

You know we don't believe
in superheros anymore.

I don’t like the way my body aches sometimes
Like it’s fighting in battles I can’t see
And it doesn’t care about the ways it can hurt me.
There are so many wounds I can’t feel
But I know they’re there
I know I need to wash them let them go
But I can’t fight this blind

You know my mind is on a timer
You know I hate the way this looks
Infant headaches follow,
Break my heart it feels like home

I feel the letters kicking the roof of my mouth.
I feel the sting of your presence.
I can feel everything.

Oh pretty people have it too easy,
I know they’ve never felt shaking palms
I know they know they create palms that shake,
Staying up late at night thinking if I could get
a shot of that maybe I’d see the light

Laughter is not your name.

I wish I didn’t know this place so well.
I wish I didn’t know where my friends work
or what’s under construction
or where the homeless sleep

I hate that you try to make your pictures look old.
and I hate yoga because it works.
they tell you
breathe in through the nose
breath out through the mouth
you have to want to calm down.


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