girls who wear heels in the mosh pit

13 January 2020

I went to a local rock show a little while ago where I saw these girls dancing in a mosh pit and it's something I've been thinking about for a while. This isn't something I do often but whenever I get the courage to go out and see the world, I always see really cool people doing really cool things and it gives me a warm feeling. These girls looked like they were having the time of their lives and they were making space for themselves in a way that I've always wanted to and I hope they never stop.

To give some context, I go out sometimes to these shows because I love music and I want to surround myself with people who feel the same way. I've been trying to put myself out there and become a part of this scene that seems to be doing so much good. I can't stop thinking about these people who play their own instruments and make their own songs and sing their own words to their friends who dance for them. People who wear their own handmade clothes and all hang out late into the night watching each other walk up to the stage to play their songs. Everything here is DIY and honest and real.

I think I romanticize things too much sometimes (i.e. this post) and I maybe want to believe things are better than they are. I want to believe that there are really good things out there and I just have to try hard enough to get them. At these shows I know these people are not perfect and I don't love being in a room full of strangers. I've gone to a few and started to reevaluate why when   I   saw    these    girls.

They were dressed up, some wearing piercings, some wearing all black, tall heels and short hair. They were a group of friends coming into this mostly male space full of serious faces and they lightened the mood. They came fashionably late and moved up to the front of the room without hesitation while I had been lingering in a comfortable spot in the middle this whole time. And when the band I had been waiting for finally played, and a space in the center opened for people to dance and push and jump around, they looked and they joined in.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that I want their courage. Not to join a mosh pit or wear heels in public but to be myself. I want to be able to look at a bunch of strangers dancing and not be afraid to walk in. I want to look the way I want to look and be accepted by a bunch of people who look the same. Isn't that what everybody wants?

They reminded me to take risks. They reminded me what fun looks like. I always thought these things were for people who could afford to be reckless and unafraid but maybe there is room for people like us too. Maybe things are out there and we can have them if we want them. I'm tired of waiting.


© the velocity of heart. FCD.