how to be alone.

24 February, 2020

Loneliness is something I think about a lot. Are any of us ever really alone? Do we each have different ideas of what would make us feel whole? If we are all feeling the same empty loneliness, then does that bring us together somehow? I know I'm not really alone. I know people. I speak to other people on a regular basis. I've written about what it means to me to have a real conversation or connection or friendship and I've also written about the absence of them. It has already been said that interacting with other people or not actually being alone doesn't prevent that feeling of loneliness though, and I also know this.

Loneliness is something you can get used to. Something you can pretend doesn't actually happen, at least not to you. Loneliness can make you feel guilty, ungrateful for not appreciating what you have. It can creep in, knock on the door, look like introversion, and make you tell other people that you have "just been really busy lately." You can't just tell other people that you are lonely and ask them to fix it, you can't just explain in a way that makes sense, you can't just make it go away. There is no easy fix, no cure for that sinking feeling, only a facade that you put on while you wait for better days. There is just coping. And hoping. Until you aren't anymore.



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